this morning as i was going throughout my Twitter newsfeed i noticed a post by Mastin Kipp, author of “The Daily Love”. It was titled “Bye Bye Past Hurt & Trama”…i immediately clicked on it to read what inspiring and wise words he had to share.
still healing and mourning the death of my partner has been a rocky road and i have found myself feeling so many emotions in one day and many times all at the same time. i found old wounds opening up and the one that is at the top that will not go away is feeling abandoned at the age of 4. at the age of 4 my mom was admitted into a mental hospital and my sister and i moved in with my aunt and cousins. being that young i had no idea what was going on. i feel displaced and lost. i feel scared …all i wanted was my mom.
i later found out she was diagnosed with schizophrenia . i didn’t realize how her illness placed a wedge in our relationship as i became an adult until i lost my partner. the lost of my partner brought up the feeling of being abandoned and displaced all over again…this helped me to focus on the real issue and the real problem for me was feeling unworthy,feeling unloved and abandoned …feeling left alone…i realize at 33 i abandoned myself…i abandoned that 4 year old little girl..
my focus is to nurture the 4 year old little girl in me and love who I am…by doing this I am noticing my relationship with my mom is improving..i had no idea how my heart had become harden..my soul had become bitter and angry at my mom ..angry at anyone who was trying to love and nurture me…feeling scared i would love them and they would leave…never realizing love also starts from within . By being inspired by the below article: Today, i choose to let go of past hurt, pain and trauma and start loving all that i am and sharing that love with those around me
BYE BYE PAST HURT & TRAUMA
If something really gnarly happens in your life and then you go seek help, in Western society many caretakers will tell you that you had some kind of “trauma.” And then boom, once you hear that, you identify with it and then, in some cases, that trauma becomes your identity, not just an event that happened in your life.
Let us review the definition of trauma from the good ole Merriam Webster:
Trauma (N): A disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury.
A lot of people get so identified with what happened that they stay there; always identified by what happened, and in many cases, they use that identification as an excuse not to grow.
Now, I am by NO MEANS diminishing the fact that crazy shit happens in life. Bad things happen to good people. There is a lot of suffering in the world. But that doesn’t have to be where we LIVE!
You see, there are some key words in Webster’s definition. The first word is “state.” The state you are in changes during the day. Sometimes you are in a sleep state, sometimes you are in a groggy state, sometimes you are in an excited state, and if you are lucky enough to be with a partner you Love and end up getting busy with them, you can be in a pretty excited state, too! (devilish grin)
We humans can be in all kinds of different states. The state that we go into when we experience a trauma is totally normal and natural. But afterwards, because we are co-creators of our life, the state we stay in is up to us. This is why I love it when Tony Robbins said that there is no such thing as a victim, because once the event happens, it’s up to us to choose to stay in a victim identity or choose an empowered story and become stronger.
I can hear some of you right now screaming, “YES MASTIN BUT I WAS ________!” and then fill in the blank. I’m not saying that these things didn’t happen and that in that moment you aren’t a victim. Of course you are. But after that moment happens, how you live your life, where you choose to live emotionally, is up to you and the meaning you give the events of your life! Moments of victimhood happen, but a life of being a victim is chosen. We become a victim of our choice to identify with a moment of trauma, instead of choosing to grow past it.
The goal is not to avoid pain or to deny what happened to us; the goal is to learn that we have the power within us to change and that starts by not letting an event define us. Painful events happen. So when they do, give them an empowering meaning instead of choosing to relive them over and over. Don’t make the trauma that you felt your identity.
Who you are is infinite; you are a child of The Uni-verse and you have been sent here with a specific gift that is only yours to express. The events that occur are meant to shape us, to mold us and to help us step into who we are supposed to be. You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed. You are eternal and a part of a Loving Uni-verse that supports you. Give us your gift. Don’t stay stuck in a moment and let your whole life be defined by one event. You are so much more than that!
As always, the action happens in the comments below, leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!
Love and unstuckness,
P.S. If you are ready to get out of your head and into your heart so you can start living the life of your dreams, join Mastin on The Daily Love Enter The Heart Tour! We still have stops in Las Vegas, Vancouver, San Diego and Honolulu! RSVP here.